The purpose of descriptive writing is not to tell a story, but to describe a place, or event detail, so that readers can imagine themselves there. Descriptive writing is often used in books, on the radio and in journalism.
For your IGCSE coursework, you need to produce a descriptive piece of writing between 500 and 800 words long. The coursework is graded from A* to G – with an A* being the highest, and a G being the lowest.
Here are two examples of descriptive writing. The first is less successful than the second. Read and compare both. The analysis explains what the examiners are looking for when they mark it. Can you see why they are being graded differently?
At the beach
I went to the beach. The sun was shining and it was very hot. It felt like an oven. Beside the beach there were a lot of shops selling buckets and spades and ice-creams. I looked out to see. There were a lot of people in the sea. On the beach children were making sand castles and a dog was barking.
What’s right with this piece?
The capital letters and full stops are in the right place, which shows that there is a basic understanding of punctuation. There are some descriptive techniques – there is a use of adjectives (hot, big) and there is a simile (It felt like an oven).
What’s wrong with it?
There is not enough detail for a descriptive piece. The piece only has simple sentences. There are no joining words to link the ideas together. The 4th sentence mentions shops, but doesn’t describe them in any detail. “There were a lot of people in the sea” may be right, but it doesn’t describe them or even say what they are doing. Also, the children and the dog - how old are the children, what type of dog is it – is it a tiny poodle or a massive Great Dane? Why is it barking – is it angry, or excited?
In addition, the fifth sentence has an incorrect see. It should be, “I looked out to sea.”
If the piece continues like this, the highest grade it would get is going to be a 21/40 which is around a Grade E. Some of the basics are there, but they are not being used well or consistently enough for the reader to fully understand.
Now, let’s take a look at a better piece of descriptive writing.
I held my left palm to my forehead to shield my eyes from the fierce rays of the sun and looked out over the beach. The sandy crescent stretched for miles. In the widest stretch of the yellow halfmoon, crowds of people moved. Excited children were running as quickly as they could towards the blue tinged green sea whilst their parents walked slowly behind, like elephants, laden with hampers, towels, blankets and bags. The children screamed as they pitched headfirst into the water that momentarily chilled them to the bone. A golden Labrador scampered after the children, barking excitedly. She dived straight in and gave the children a friendly nuzzle, before swimming in circles with a big doggy grin, relieved to get the baking heat out of its shaggy coat.
Why is this piece better than the last?
The writing is more focused to start with. It starts with a general description of the beach and then focuses in on what specific people are doing. Because the paragraph is more focused, it means that more detail is revealed. “Sandy crescent” and “half-moon” repeat the shape of the beach, using different words showing that the writer has a wide range of vocabulary. In addition, verbs are also used in a descriptive manner – “stretched”, “pitched” and “scampered” show a good range of vocabulary. The adjectives are also better – “fierce sun” tells the reader that the sun is very bright and powerful.
Not only do we get a sense of what the narrator can see, we also get what the narrator can hear with the screaming children and barking Labrador – and we know that the Labrador isn’t angry, but excited.
We also have sentences of different length. Rather than have a list of simple sentences, we have compound and complex sentences which makes the piece more interesting to read.
As you can see, this gives a much clearer picture to the reader than the last piece. If this piece continued we would certainly be looking at a strong B and the potential for an A grade.
To get a good grade in IGCSE you need to do the following:
• Be clear, so that the reader can follow your writing.
• Use paragraphs and connectives
• Use a wide range of vocabulary – a thesaurus could help you here.
• Use techniques to show that you understand the style of writing. So, for descriptive writing, we want to see exciting adjectives, some similes and metaphors and include the five senses.
• Correct spelling, punctuation and grammar. Make sure you have your capital letters in the right place, and check to make sure you have used the correct tenses.
Useful resources
Below are some useful links to help you improve your descriptive writing. Please refer to them before you start your assignment.
Mr Bruff’s Guide – This is an e-book written by an experienced teacher. The guide explains the IGCSE qualification and gives good advice and examples of the exams and coursework you will have to complete.
General descriptive writing
Similes, metaphors and personification
Example 2
a) Describe the atmosphere of a busy Airport, referring to particular people and situations that you observe.
b) Describe , in role , an hour in the day of a flight attendant , including your thoughts and feelings during that time.
Comment your Answers below....
Topics for you to try :
a) Describe the atmosphere of a busy Airport, referring to particular people and situations that you observe.
b) Describe , in role , an hour in the day of a flight attendant , including your thoughts and feelings during that time.
Comment your Answers below....
